Weight Loss Journey

My story regarding my weight is one of frustration and depression. After growing up always being extremely active, athletic and never having a weight problem , it was devastating for me to realize I was overweight and unable to lose the extra pounds after having my two baby boys. I worked hard after each birth; running, cutting out carbs, eating well.....I would drop 3-5 pounds and then stall. l was breastfeeding exclusively for the first 6 months and then slowly started gaining it back. My body seemed to hover around 200  pounds no matter my activity level or what I ate.  at 5'5 i knew i was overweight. I have heard of this happening while breastfeeding and I believe thats what happened with me. my body wasnt wanting to budge because it was providing constant nourishment for my babe.  I felt frustrated, depressed and like a failure. Why could all of these other mamas lose  all the baby weight through breastfeeding and I was working my ass off and couldnt lose shit?? I started feeling down every single day-- I hated my body and in turn I hated myself. For the first time in my life I felt like I couldnt achieve something through sheer hard work. That was hard for me to accept.  I started binge eating. Running a busy daycare and raising 2  little boys of my own left me little time to relax and eat during the day.  I started looking forward to 9 pm when the  kids would be in bed and I would easily scarf down 2000 calories in one sitting and then top it off with something sweet like a cookie or brownie. Food was my solace, my comfort and i wasnt sleeping well either and would often get up and eat at 11 pm or midnight too. I knew I was emotionally unhealthy and binging was extremely unhealthy but I felt no hope-- I felt stuck. add to that some emotional issues i was going through with some extended family members and food really became my addiction. i was not able to control how people treated me but icould control my food intake and that felt good to me. Eating healthy, working out like crazy and doing the right thing had gotten me nowhere and I had officially given up. It got to the point where I didnt even get pleasure from eating anymore and just felt embarrassed and insecure 24/7. My low point was the day before I started Medifast sitting in my car with my boys in the back while I chowed down on 2 crisp bean burritos and mexi fries from Taco Time. That was my rock bottom. What the hell was I doing to myself?? I was eating Taco Time in a car setting a horrible example for my kids who I constantly talked to about eating healthy. I believe in leading  by example and in that moment I felt as if I had failed my kids...and myself.
fast forward to february 28th 2014...i dove in head first ready to be healthy, address the painful reasons why i feel comforted by food andlose this weight. tomorrow marks 1 week on plan and 2 days ago i was already down 8.5 pounds. i will be posting more about my journey,as well as my weigh ins each week. please all of you hold me accountable.