So you want a natural birth? Yay! Welcome to the rare 1% of women in America that will experience this life changing ride!
Natural birth is an amazing experience, one that I was lucky enough to go through twice! I have a lot of tips for those of you wanting a natural birth experience and I hope they help inspire women out there! I am by no means an expert, but I did have some complications and my labors certainly did not go perfectly so if I can do it, so can you!
**Warning- these are MY opinions and I mean no offense to those who choose a different birthing route. Natural birth is NOT for everyone so please don't take this decision lightly!
- Educate yourself
I cannot stress this enough! Read, read and read some more. If you want to have a natural birth, know the benefits of having a vaginal and un-medicated birth. Know the statistics. For instance, when giving birth with a midwife in a birth center or at home, your chances of having a c section decrease dramatically. Women who choose to birth with a midwife also report a much higher satisfaction rate in their care than with an OB.
I highly suggest watching the documentary Business of Being Born. It will educate you on the medicalization of birth and the harmful effects of that. It also has many women naturally laboring and giving birth!
I also suggest going online and reading positive and empowering natural birth stories. Or talk to someone who has had a natural birth about what to expect. Watch birth videos.
Here's mine: Birth Story and Video of Phoenix Noble and Birth Story of August James
Take as many natural birthing classes as you can and read books on natural birth. I highly recommend any Ina May Gaskin books. They are honest, straightforward and full of natural birth stories. They also explain the natural process of birth and how your body works WITH you to get baby out. It is extremely important to understand that because during labor it really helps to know what is happening in your body and why!
2. Set Yourself up for Success
If you want to really put all the odds in your favor of having a natural birth, then whenever possible choose a homebirth/ free standing birth center instead of a hospital. Although natural births are certainly possible at a hospital, you are pitting the odds against you when you choose the hospital route. Hospitals, in general, have many regulations/interventions/time limits that really make it unrealistic for a first time mama in labor to have a successful natural labor. It is also beneficial to be in surroundings where you know there is no pain relieving medicine around (ie home/birth center). Most mamas hit a wall in labor where they just want to give up, even though its almost always right at the end of the process. And most nurses in hospitals will suggest epidurals etc. at this point. What those mamas really need at that point is support, not drugs.
Please don't buy into the rheotirc that out of hospital births are somehow "unsafe" ! In fact, you could very easily make the argument that hospital birth puts you at higher risk for many, many unsafe things! (episiotomy being one).
Also, the US has one of the HIGHEST infant mortality rates in the industrialized world, yet women overwhelming give birth in hospital in the US as opposed to birth centers/home births being the majority in the rest of world. That should tell you all you need to know.
If you are worried about the "safety" of having a homebirth/free standing birth center birth, please PLEASE look at the statistics and know that in many cases having a birth out of hospital is MORE safe because there are less dangerous interventions that could put you and baby at risk! Also, your midwife will always have a plan in place in case hospital transport is necessary! Choose a birth center near a hospital if you are really worried. Birth Statistics: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr58/nvsr58_11.PDF
Hire a CPM. My main midwife with both of my births is a certified nurse midwife. I can guarantee she knows more about birth than most OB's (who are trained mostly in surgery fyi).
As far as concerns about what happens if something goes south and not being in a hospital, midwives have oxygen, ivs and all kinds of herbs and meds to prevent something bad from happening. Pretty much the only thing they wouldn't be able to do would be surgery, which of course would require a hospital transport.
3. Surround yourself with supportive people
This is SO important!!! If after telling friends/family of your birth plan they are anything less than fully supportive, distance yourself from them during pregnancy! There is nothing worse than being told "wait until you get into labor, you'll ask for drugs" or "why would you choose to give birth anywhere but a hospital, it's unsafe" or "it's so painful there is no way you are going to get through it without drugs" or "why wouldn't you have a doctor deliver instead of a midwife" (completely untrue and unsupportive on all accounts by the way).
There will also most likely people who are jealous or envious of your decision and will have negative reactions to your decision. It's very hard to deal with, so find yourself some supportive people instead! I recommend getting involved in a natural birthing community, take a natural birth class, talk with your midwives and ask your family and friends for SUPPORT and not judgement. If they are unable (for whatever reason) to say anything positive to you about your birth plan, refuse to talk to them about it or just distance yourself. There are plenty of amazing mamas who have been through birth naturally that will be more than supportive of you!
I personally leaned on my mom (who has had 3 natural births), my mother in law (who also has given birth naturally) and my husband and midwives. I also reached out to two people I knew my age that had chosen the natural birth route and they both gave me lots of tips and told me what to expect. Most importantly, I was told by every single one of these people that I could do it! They ALL had faith in me.They all believed! And that goes a long way when choosing this route for birth!
During labor, it is beyond important to be surrounded by people you trust. And keep the numbers low. Don't invite your whole family to labor. It's a very emotional, trying time that should be experienced only with those you know will support you in the right ways. Don't be afraid to speak up and let people surrounding you know what you need/want in the form of support. I thrived off of being talked to a reassured and massaged. Some women won't like that though. You never know what you prefer until you are in labor! Without the proper support of people who love you, natural birth will probably not be possible!
4. Hire a midwife
I will never forget at 8 weeks post partum with my 2nd son going into a women's health center that I had never been to before to get my Mirena IUD put in. The doctor who did it, also delivered babies at Portland Providence. On the day of the placement, I went in and met him right before he took me back. His exact words to me were "I'm so sorry I can't remember, did I deliver your baby?" Of course he didn't, I had never met him before, but this man must have delivered thousands of babies and he basically comes in for the delivery only, and then leaves. When I told Joel this his first response was also my first thought after hearing this, which was: "And that is why we chose to have a baby at a birth center, with a midwife." Not only do my midwives know me by name and my son's names, they know details about my births and my family. I do not feel like a number, I feel like a person when I'm with them for my appointments. Something so intimate and emotional as birth should be treated with care and respect. It mystifies me why women choose to be "just a number" in a vast medical system rather than receive individualized and emotionally based care from a midwife!
Midwives are integral to the natural birth process. They are trained to SUPPORT a woman in labor! I became very close with all of my midwives and I truly love each of them. I also TRUST them, which is hard to do with most doctors. They always were honest with me and did what was best for ME and not what was convenient for them. Even when I had to get transferred to the hospital after my last labor, my midwives were with me every single step of the way and advocated for me at the hospital as well. I really can't imagine going through labor WITHOUT a midwife. I would personally be freaking out if I had to.
The midwifery model of care is VERY different from OB care so read up on it to see if it's something that is right for you. Midwifery Model of Care
5. Expect the unexpected
No matter how much you prepare, plan or dream, your birth will PROBABLY NOT go as you have envisioned. Maybe it will be long, maybe it will be short, maybe it will be painful, maybe it will just be uncomfortable, maybe you will have to be transferred. You cannot predict how it will turn out but you can go in with a positive attitude and the right circumstances and that will give you the very best shot at having the birthing experience you want!
Just resign yourself to the fact that things probably won't happen the way you want and be prepared to be flexible. But also stay positive. If you believe you can have a natural birth, that is half the battle!
6. Banish Fear
Fear of birth is what most women in the US are brought up with and one of the main reasons women don't attempt a natural birth. From horrifying birth stories to media coverage of labor, women have been immersed in fear. They have also been told (mostly by males) that they cannot endure such a painful experience.
Guess what? You can. Your body only gives you what you can handle. Just when you think you can't handle another contraction during labor, it ramps down or baby is born. It's amazing what our bodies do to cope with childbirth!
If you are fearful of birth and labor, there is probably a very slim chance you will be able to have a natural birth. Birth is very psychologically driven and fear has been proven to make labor MORE painful! If you talk to any women who were extremely fearful and ignorant of birth, they almost always have horror stories of the pain.
I implore anyone with overwhelming fear to talk to people who have gone through the experience. Talk with some midwives. Know that there truly is nothing to fear once you believe in your body's ability to give birth. There is also a magnificent book Birthing from Within that really helped me banish my inherent fears about childbirth.
7. Work WITH the pain, not against it.
Something every woman attempting a natural birth should come to terms with is that is not going to be easy. In fact, it will probably be the hardest thing you will ever do. And it will hurt, but you WILL survive and get through it if you learn to surrender to the pain and uncomfortableness and let your body do its job.Surrender yourself to your body and go with the flow. Your body knows what its doing!
I remember during each contraction trying to completely relax and let my body do its job. I didn't fight against the contraction, I just let it happen. I also recommend focusing on only the contraction at hand. If you start thinking about how many contractions you have left or when the next contraction will come and how much it will hurt, you will wear yourself out! In between contractions try to focus on something positive and distracting. (laugh with your midwives and/or partner about something funny, ask to be massaged, listen to music or read a book or magazine).
8. Be emotionally ready and mentally prepared
Being pregnant and having surges of hormones racing through your body can bring up a lot of emotional issues. For me it brought up a lot of unresolved family issues from my childhood. It was extremely difficult to deal with, but I chose to deal with it head on and work through a lot of that emotional pain BEFORE I gave birth. Free your mind from negativity and past issues. Talk to someone you trust (your midwife, partner, best friend, family member and/or a therapist).
I talked with my husband almost monthly about these past issues and really was able to clear the air with him so I could easily go into labor with a positive emotional mentality.
You should also come to the realization that having a child will FOREVER change your life! It will change how you think about things, how you make decisions, how you look at the world and it will likely change relationships in your life. Be prepared for your world to turn upside down in the best possible way as soon as you hold your baby for the first time! Nothing will ever be the same and soon you will not be able to imagine life before your kids. They will be your everything. Embrace it!
9. Getting through Labor and Delivery
Labor will hurt at times. You will be uncomfortable. You might even be scared at the amount of power it takes to push a baby out of your vagina. You have no idea how you will react to labor until you are in it so be realistic about that!
Know that sometimes, birth doesn't go as planned. I certainly had a whole lot of stuff happen to me after labor that I didn't expect, but I rolled with it. I was lucky enough to be able to have natural labors but I could have never predicted the complications I would endure after each of my labors. Also know that sometimes things out of your control prevent you from having the birth you want. Surrender to this. I know a couple of people that planned a birth center birth but had to be transferred during labor because of various issues and both ended up having a beautiful, unplanned hospital birth. All that matters is that their babies are here and healthy!
I wish anyone planning a natural birth the best of luck!
I can say hands down that both of my labors were the most amazing events of my life! I really feel invincible after having two un-medicated vaginal births. It takes a lot to phase me and I feel like I can do anything. I have a confident aura now that I never had before and cannot be bought for any amount of money. It's truly amazing and I look back on both of my births with a lot of fond memories. There is no greater feeling than holding your child for the first time in your arms knowing that you birthed this wonderful being with the sheer force of your body!
I highly suggest watching the documentary Business of Being Born. It will educate you on the medicalization of birth and the harmful effects of that. It also has many women naturally laboring and giving birth!
I also suggest going online and reading positive and empowering natural birth stories. Or talk to someone who has had a natural birth about what to expect. Watch birth videos.
Here's mine: Birth Story and Video of Phoenix Noble and Birth Story of August James
Take as many natural birthing classes as you can and read books on natural birth. I highly recommend any Ina May Gaskin books. They are honest, straightforward and full of natural birth stories. They also explain the natural process of birth and how your body works WITH you to get baby out. It is extremely important to understand that because during labor it really helps to know what is happening in your body and why!
2. Set Yourself up for Success
If you want to really put all the odds in your favor of having a natural birth, then whenever possible choose a homebirth/ free standing birth center instead of a hospital. Although natural births are certainly possible at a hospital, you are pitting the odds against you when you choose the hospital route. Hospitals, in general, have many regulations/interventions/time limits that really make it unrealistic for a first time mama in labor to have a successful natural labor. It is also beneficial to be in surroundings where you know there is no pain relieving medicine around (ie home/birth center). Most mamas hit a wall in labor where they just want to give up, even though its almost always right at the end of the process. And most nurses in hospitals will suggest epidurals etc. at this point. What those mamas really need at that point is support, not drugs.
Please don't buy into the rheotirc that out of hospital births are somehow "unsafe" ! In fact, you could very easily make the argument that hospital birth puts you at higher risk for many, many unsafe things! (episiotomy being one).
Also, the US has one of the HIGHEST infant mortality rates in the industrialized world, yet women overwhelming give birth in hospital in the US as opposed to birth centers/home births being the majority in the rest of world. That should tell you all you need to know.
If you are worried about the "safety" of having a homebirth/free standing birth center birth, please PLEASE look at the statistics and know that in many cases having a birth out of hospital is MORE safe because there are less dangerous interventions that could put you and baby at risk! Also, your midwife will always have a plan in place in case hospital transport is necessary! Choose a birth center near a hospital if you are really worried. Birth Statistics: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr58/nvsr58_11.PDF
Hire a CPM. My main midwife with both of my births is a certified nurse midwife. I can guarantee she knows more about birth than most OB's (who are trained mostly in surgery fyi).
As far as concerns about what happens if something goes south and not being in a hospital, midwives have oxygen, ivs and all kinds of herbs and meds to prevent something bad from happening. Pretty much the only thing they wouldn't be able to do would be surgery, which of course would require a hospital transport.
3. Surround yourself with supportive people
This is SO important!!! If after telling friends/family of your birth plan they are anything less than fully supportive, distance yourself from them during pregnancy! There is nothing worse than being told "wait until you get into labor, you'll ask for drugs" or "why would you choose to give birth anywhere but a hospital, it's unsafe" or "it's so painful there is no way you are going to get through it without drugs" or "why wouldn't you have a doctor deliver instead of a midwife" (completely untrue and unsupportive on all accounts by the way).
There will also most likely people who are jealous or envious of your decision and will have negative reactions to your decision. It's very hard to deal with, so find yourself some supportive people instead! I recommend getting involved in a natural birthing community, take a natural birth class, talk with your midwives and ask your family and friends for SUPPORT and not judgement. If they are unable (for whatever reason) to say anything positive to you about your birth plan, refuse to talk to them about it or just distance yourself. There are plenty of amazing mamas who have been through birth naturally that will be more than supportive of you!
I personally leaned on my mom (who has had 3 natural births), my mother in law (who also has given birth naturally) and my husband and midwives. I also reached out to two people I knew my age that had chosen the natural birth route and they both gave me lots of tips and told me what to expect. Most importantly, I was told by every single one of these people that I could do it! They ALL had faith in me.They all believed! And that goes a long way when choosing this route for birth!
During labor, it is beyond important to be surrounded by people you trust. And keep the numbers low. Don't invite your whole family to labor. It's a very emotional, trying time that should be experienced only with those you know will support you in the right ways. Don't be afraid to speak up and let people surrounding you know what you need/want in the form of support. I thrived off of being talked to a reassured and massaged. Some women won't like that though. You never know what you prefer until you are in labor! Without the proper support of people who love you, natural birth will probably not be possible!
4. Hire a midwife
I will never forget at 8 weeks post partum with my 2nd son going into a women's health center that I had never been to before to get my Mirena IUD put in. The doctor who did it, also delivered babies at Portland Providence. On the day of the placement, I went in and met him right before he took me back. His exact words to me were "I'm so sorry I can't remember, did I deliver your baby?" Of course he didn't, I had never met him before, but this man must have delivered thousands of babies and he basically comes in for the delivery only, and then leaves. When I told Joel this his first response was also my first thought after hearing this, which was: "And that is why we chose to have a baby at a birth center, with a midwife." Not only do my midwives know me by name and my son's names, they know details about my births and my family. I do not feel like a number, I feel like a person when I'm with them for my appointments. Something so intimate and emotional as birth should be treated with care and respect. It mystifies me why women choose to be "just a number" in a vast medical system rather than receive individualized and emotionally based care from a midwife!
Midwives are integral to the natural birth process. They are trained to SUPPORT a woman in labor! I became very close with all of my midwives and I truly love each of them. I also TRUST them, which is hard to do with most doctors. They always were honest with me and did what was best for ME and not what was convenient for them. Even when I had to get transferred to the hospital after my last labor, my midwives were with me every single step of the way and advocated for me at the hospital as well. I really can't imagine going through labor WITHOUT a midwife. I would personally be freaking out if I had to.
The midwifery model of care is VERY different from OB care so read up on it to see if it's something that is right for you. Midwifery Model of Care
5. Expect the unexpected
No matter how much you prepare, plan or dream, your birth will PROBABLY NOT go as you have envisioned. Maybe it will be long, maybe it will be short, maybe it will be painful, maybe it will just be uncomfortable, maybe you will have to be transferred. You cannot predict how it will turn out but you can go in with a positive attitude and the right circumstances and that will give you the very best shot at having the birthing experience you want!
Just resign yourself to the fact that things probably won't happen the way you want and be prepared to be flexible. But also stay positive. If you believe you can have a natural birth, that is half the battle!
6. Banish Fear
Fear of birth is what most women in the US are brought up with and one of the main reasons women don't attempt a natural birth. From horrifying birth stories to media coverage of labor, women have been immersed in fear. They have also been told (mostly by males) that they cannot endure such a painful experience.
Guess what? You can. Your body only gives you what you can handle. Just when you think you can't handle another contraction during labor, it ramps down or baby is born. It's amazing what our bodies do to cope with childbirth!
If you are fearful of birth and labor, there is probably a very slim chance you will be able to have a natural birth. Birth is very psychologically driven and fear has been proven to make labor MORE painful! If you talk to any women who were extremely fearful and ignorant of birth, they almost always have horror stories of the pain.
I implore anyone with overwhelming fear to talk to people who have gone through the experience. Talk with some midwives. Know that there truly is nothing to fear once you believe in your body's ability to give birth. There is also a magnificent book Birthing from Within that really helped me banish my inherent fears about childbirth.
7. Work WITH the pain, not against it.
Something every woman attempting a natural birth should come to terms with is that is not going to be easy. In fact, it will probably be the hardest thing you will ever do. And it will hurt, but you WILL survive and get through it if you learn to surrender to the pain and uncomfortableness and let your body do its job.Surrender yourself to your body and go with the flow. Your body knows what its doing!
I remember during each contraction trying to completely relax and let my body do its job. I didn't fight against the contraction, I just let it happen. I also recommend focusing on only the contraction at hand. If you start thinking about how many contractions you have left or when the next contraction will come and how much it will hurt, you will wear yourself out! In between contractions try to focus on something positive and distracting. (laugh with your midwives and/or partner about something funny, ask to be massaged, listen to music or read a book or magazine).
8. Be emotionally ready and mentally prepared
Being pregnant and having surges of hormones racing through your body can bring up a lot of emotional issues. For me it brought up a lot of unresolved family issues from my childhood. It was extremely difficult to deal with, but I chose to deal with it head on and work through a lot of that emotional pain BEFORE I gave birth. Free your mind from negativity and past issues. Talk to someone you trust (your midwife, partner, best friend, family member and/or a therapist).
I talked with my husband almost monthly about these past issues and really was able to clear the air with him so I could easily go into labor with a positive emotional mentality.
You should also come to the realization that having a child will FOREVER change your life! It will change how you think about things, how you make decisions, how you look at the world and it will likely change relationships in your life. Be prepared for your world to turn upside down in the best possible way as soon as you hold your baby for the first time! Nothing will ever be the same and soon you will not be able to imagine life before your kids. They will be your everything. Embrace it!
9. Getting through Labor and Delivery
- Get in whatever position feels right to you. Being on your hands and knees helps if you are in back labor. Never restrict your positions unless told to for the baby's safety by your midwife. You should be free to move around and instinctively labor in any position that eases the pain of contractions.
- Use water as a natural pain reliever. A shower head also helps to massage your back during contractions. Water was my best friend during both of my labors and helped me cope with contractions superbly!
- Have your midwife or partner massage you and use counter pressure during contractions (especially helpful for back labor).
- If labor is slowing down, go for a walk or sit on the toilet either forward or backwards. This puts pressure on your cervix from the baby's head and usually makes labor much more intense.
- Make whatever noises you feel like. Scream, yell, curse, moan, talk. Be loud, it helps.
- Make sure you have CONSTANT support during transition. It is intense with 2-4 peaks during each contraction and your body will start involuntarily pushing baby's head down for you. It is also when most women want to give up or ask for drugs. Keep in mind that transition only lasts for about 15-20 minutes. Possibly 30. Almost anyone can endure anything for that short amount of time!
- Get few cervical checks. The more often you get checked, the more you are going to think about how much more you have to go in terms of labor. It's psychological and can really mess up your momentum. During my 2nd labor I didn't get checked until I was already 9 cm.
Labor will hurt at times. You will be uncomfortable. You might even be scared at the amount of power it takes to push a baby out of your vagina. You have no idea how you will react to labor until you are in it so be realistic about that!
Know that sometimes, birth doesn't go as planned. I certainly had a whole lot of stuff happen to me after labor that I didn't expect, but I rolled with it. I was lucky enough to be able to have natural labors but I could have never predicted the complications I would endure after each of my labors. Also know that sometimes things out of your control prevent you from having the birth you want. Surrender to this. I know a couple of people that planned a birth center birth but had to be transferred during labor because of various issues and both ended up having a beautiful, unplanned hospital birth. All that matters is that their babies are here and healthy!
I wish anyone planning a natural birth the best of luck!
I can say hands down that both of my labors were the most amazing events of my life! I really feel invincible after having two un-medicated vaginal births. It takes a lot to phase me and I feel like I can do anything. I have a confident aura now that I never had before and cannot be bought for any amount of money. It's truly amazing and I look back on both of my births with a lot of fond memories. There is no greater feeling than holding your child for the first time in your arms knowing that you birthed this wonderful being with the sheer force of your body!
No comments:
Post a Comment