Fun little historical fact: The average age of potty training in the 1800's was 12 months old. In the 1950's the average was 14 months. By 1984 it was at 24 months.
Currently, the average age of potty training in the United States is at a whopping 37 months old!
A little background about me: Not only am I a mom to two boys (1 of which was potty trained at 22 months) but I also successfully potty trained 3 toddlers I was a nanny to (their parents were gone 10-11 hours a day/5 days a week so I did a LOT of the work in the potty training department). I think I can safely say I know what I am doing, especially when it come to boys!
Most parents today feel like they should not even THINK about potty training before 2 years old. Well I am here to tell you that it IS possible (and very beneficial to you as a parent, yay for no more diapers). What the majority of parents fail to realize is that potty training starts long before your child is "ready" to potty train. If you try to start without doing any prep work at all, you are going to be in for a long and arduous process!
On that note, here are my tried- and- true tips for potty training before 2 years old:
- Do A lot of Prep Work
Potty training really starts around 8/9 months of age. Talk and demonstrate openly and honestly about the potty. Let your child see you go potty and that it is a natural human process that all big boys and girls do on a daily basis. If you have a boy, it is extremely beneficial for daddy to be a positive potty role model by taking his son into the potty to show what daddy does when he goes pee. We started doing this when August was 6 months old and I think it really helped prep him for having an interest in wanting to go potty.
Make sure that you have positive connotations associated with bodily functions! In other words, when they are babies and you are changing their diapers, don't make yucky faces or say "ewww" or "stinky". If you do this a lot, your babies will learn quickly that bodily functions are something gross and to be ashamed of and that will make it difficult to potty train.
Buy a couple of books and/or videos about potty training geared toward toddlers. This makes potty training fun and exciting for them! Try to read a book or watch a video about going potty at least 2-3 times a week.
2. Use Cloth Diapers
Studies show that cloth-diapered babies potty train faster because they can feel when they are wet immediately where as disposable diapers whick away moisture immediately so it can be harder to get kids to realize when they pee in their diapers and make the association.
You certainly don't have to use cloth in order to potty train effectively (obviously) but in my opinion, it helps tremendously!
3. Make a Special trip to buy big boy/big girl underwear and a potty
Take your toddler to the store (we went to Target) by themselves (leave siblings at home if possible because this should be special for your potty training toddler) and have them help pick out 3-4 packs of underwear. Talk to them the entire time enthusiastically about wearing underwear and how fun it's going to be (put on your best acting hat and have at it). It helps to get underwear that has a character or animal they like on it. For us it was dinosaurs and superheroes.
Also have your little one help you pick out a potty. We got a very basic Fisher Price Froggy Potty at Target (that is all you need, trust me when I say you don't need all the bells and whistles, just buy something they can go potty in). We also bought a Toilet Ring very similar to this - more on that later.
Feel free to buy some special potty wipes and maybe some special soap as well for potty time. The trick is to make it as exciting and fun as possible so they look forward to it! The excitement will eventually wear off, but by that time your child will most likely be potty trained!
4. Get Rid of Diapers Once and for All
When you decide that you are fully committed to potty training, make a BIG deal about saying goodbye to ALL diapers. Do this first thing in the morning and explain to your toddler that only babies use diapers and big boys/big girls use underwear. We used the term "No more diapers, bye bye diapers" and had August watch as we put them away. Once we put them away, we did not use them on him again, ever.
Dear parents- this is much more about training YOU than your toddler. It's VERY easy to put on a diaper when you are in the midst of potty training and dealing with the 5th accident of the day, but DO NOT GIVE IN. It will only cause your child to backtrack and it will take longer to potty train! If you have to give your diapers away, then do just that. Get them out of the house if you need to!
5. Avoid using Pull-Ups, except at night
This is my #1 tip! DON'T USE PULL-UPS! Pull-ups are basically glorified diapers and teach your kid nothing about feeling wet or getting potty trained. Are they convenient for the parents? Absolutely! But there are other ways to deal with accidents that don't include using pull-ups. Our solution was to buy "doublers" meant for cloth diapers and put them in the underwear to catch any accidents. This is especially helpful at the beginning and when you first take your potty trainer out in public. The doublers catch most of the pee but still allow them to feel the wetness when they have an accident, which is an important association for them to make! These are the hemp doublers we bought and used. You can purchase them at Cotton Babies in Vancouver, Washington. But in reality, any cloth doubler will do the trick!
The only exception to the no pull- up rule is to use them at night, but make sure you call them "underwear" and not diapers. It will probably take 6 months- 1 year for your toddler to become accident free during the night. We use them every night and they seem to work ok. We never use them during the day though! (ok ok we HAVE given into temptation and used them when we were out once or twice...bad Wendy and Joel, bad!)
6. Use Positive Reinforcement and a solid reward system profusely and often!
Praise your child when they use the potty. You CANNOT praise enough! Tell them you are proud of them for being a big kid and staying dry. Clap, celebrate and jump for joy if you have to. Make a BIG deal out of each potty, especially in the beginning!
Now I know the vast majority of parents use "treats" ie candy/sugar to reward their child or to try and bribe them into going potty. We are totally against using food, especially candy, as a reward for anything in our parenting so we didn't use it with potty training, either. (I know this will be an unpopular stance but there is a myriad of research behind the dire effects of using candy, or any food, as a reward system). Here is some Research on using candy as a reward . In the end, it's your choice as a parent, but there are many positive alternative to candy!
We chose to use stickers with a chart prominently displayed on a cork board in our living room. Every time August successfully went potty, he got to pick out a sticker and place it on his chart. We used Dinosaur and airplane stickers but you could use anything that your kiddo likes! We used super special shiny robot stickers for pooping in the potty, because pooping usually takes quite a bit more coaxing than just peeing.
We also used one of his favorite shows, Dinosaur Train, as a reward for him sitting on the potty at the very beginning of training and we use it now when we know he has to poop but won't sit on the potty long enough to go. If he is distracted with his favorite show, he will usually sit there for a good 10 minutes until he poops, or pees at the very least.
7. Give Choices with Everything Potty related
It's very important to give your potty training toddler a sense of control. It makes them more cooperative and they feel like they are in charge, even though you always give them choices that YOU as a parent choose. It's genius, really.
We let August choose which underwear he wears in the morning (only give 2 choices though, anymore than that and it's overwhelming), which potty he wants to go pee pee or poo poo on (the big potty with the potty ring or the little froggy potty) and which sticker he gets after going to the bathroom.
Getting Started:
8. Expect lots and lots of accidents at the beginning!
Once you are all set with new undies, stickers and a potty, prepare for a lot of frustration ...but I promise you it DOES get better. While your toddler is trying to learn to control his/her bladder, there will be many accidents. I think we averaged 5-10 accidents a day for the first week. Prepare to do lots of laundry and whatever you do, do NOT get angry at your kid for having an accident. The term we use when there is an accident is "oh man, what a bummer." We also ask him where big boys go potty at and have him respond with "on the potty". This reiterates potty training without making him feel ashamed of having an accident. We also sometimes tell him that the characters on his underwear get sad when he goes pee or poo in his underwear and not in the potty. This works on a couple of different levels and toddlers are at the perfect age to start to understand feelings and empathy so this can be a really effective tool.
9. Give yourself at least a week of undivided attention toward potty training
I would suggest either planning on starting around a vaction or a time where you can devote 100% attention to potty training. Is it a pain and inconvenient? Yes. But it's much more effective to do it this way than to extend potty training over months and months and months.
Plan to stay home for at LEAST 3 days straight. Every 15-20 minutes around the clock gently remind them that it's time to try and potty and sit them on the potty. Most likely nothing will happen at first. That is perfectly normal. You are establishing a place that they go potty at and they will not be able to control whether or not they pee/poop on demand yet.
I found it helpful to set a timer so I didn't forget.
Your toddler will probably get in the habit of going in a corner or another room when they feel the need to go. Be on the lookout for this or any sign that they are about to go and immediately take them to the potty and reinforce the fact that "we go potty in our potty, not in our underwear". If he/she poops in underwear, put the poop in the potty and then have them help you flush it bye bye. This let's them know the proper place for the poop and pee. Plus toddlers like flushing the potty, a lot! (They may be scared at first but hopefully you have exposed them to the potty enough at this point that they aren't freaked out).
Have a floor spray and rag handy for any accidents on the floor. Have a wet bag or plastic bag ready to put dirty underwear in.
10. Be Consistent!
This goes right along the same lines as getting rid of the diapers...it's more about training the parents than the kids.
Be consistent with your expectations and it will pay off! You can't put your kid in underwear for an hour and then put him in a diaper or pull-up and expect him/her to understand the concept of potty training because the consistency is not there! Like I said, once you go to underwear, stay there. Don't go back and forth! It's confusing for your kid!
This also applies to rewards and praise. Consistently reward and consistently praise!
Praise your child when they use the potty. You CANNOT praise enough! Tell them you are proud of them for being a big kid and staying dry. Clap, celebrate and jump for joy if you have to. Make a BIG deal out of each potty, especially in the beginning!
Now I know the vast majority of parents use "treats" ie candy/sugar to reward their child or to try and bribe them into going potty. We are totally against using food, especially candy, as a reward for anything in our parenting so we didn't use it with potty training, either. (I know this will be an unpopular stance but there is a myriad of research behind the dire effects of using candy, or any food, as a reward system). Here is some Research on using candy as a reward . In the end, it's your choice as a parent, but there are many positive alternative to candy!
We chose to use stickers with a chart prominently displayed on a cork board in our living room. Every time August successfully went potty, he got to pick out a sticker and place it on his chart. We used Dinosaur and airplane stickers but you could use anything that your kiddo likes! We used super special shiny robot stickers for pooping in the potty, because pooping usually takes quite a bit more coaxing than just peeing.
We also used one of his favorite shows, Dinosaur Train, as a reward for him sitting on the potty at the very beginning of training and we use it now when we know he has to poop but won't sit on the potty long enough to go. If he is distracted with his favorite show, he will usually sit there for a good 10 minutes until he poops, or pees at the very least.
7. Give Choices with Everything Potty related
It's very important to give your potty training toddler a sense of control. It makes them more cooperative and they feel like they are in charge, even though you always give them choices that YOU as a parent choose. It's genius, really.
We let August choose which underwear he wears in the morning (only give 2 choices though, anymore than that and it's overwhelming), which potty he wants to go pee pee or poo poo on (the big potty with the potty ring or the little froggy potty) and which sticker he gets after going to the bathroom.
Getting Started:
8. Expect lots and lots of accidents at the beginning!
Once you are all set with new undies, stickers and a potty, prepare for a lot of frustration ...but I promise you it DOES get better. While your toddler is trying to learn to control his/her bladder, there will be many accidents. I think we averaged 5-10 accidents a day for the first week. Prepare to do lots of laundry and whatever you do, do NOT get angry at your kid for having an accident. The term we use when there is an accident is "oh man, what a bummer." We also ask him where big boys go potty at and have him respond with "on the potty". This reiterates potty training without making him feel ashamed of having an accident. We also sometimes tell him that the characters on his underwear get sad when he goes pee or poo in his underwear and not in the potty. This works on a couple of different levels and toddlers are at the perfect age to start to understand feelings and empathy so this can be a really effective tool.
9. Give yourself at least a week of undivided attention toward potty training
I would suggest either planning on starting around a vaction or a time where you can devote 100% attention to potty training. Is it a pain and inconvenient? Yes. But it's much more effective to do it this way than to extend potty training over months and months and months.
Plan to stay home for at LEAST 3 days straight. Every 15-20 minutes around the clock gently remind them that it's time to try and potty and sit them on the potty. Most likely nothing will happen at first. That is perfectly normal. You are establishing a place that they go potty at and they will not be able to control whether or not they pee/poop on demand yet.
I found it helpful to set a timer so I didn't forget.
Your toddler will probably get in the habit of going in a corner or another room when they feel the need to go. Be on the lookout for this or any sign that they are about to go and immediately take them to the potty and reinforce the fact that "we go potty in our potty, not in our underwear". If he/she poops in underwear, put the poop in the potty and then have them help you flush it bye bye. This let's them know the proper place for the poop and pee. Plus toddlers like flushing the potty, a lot! (They may be scared at first but hopefully you have exposed them to the potty enough at this point that they aren't freaked out).
Have a floor spray and rag handy for any accidents on the floor. Have a wet bag or plastic bag ready to put dirty underwear in.
10. Be Consistent!
This goes right along the same lines as getting rid of the diapers...it's more about training the parents than the kids.
Be consistent with your expectations and it will pay off! You can't put your kid in underwear for an hour and then put him in a diaper or pull-up and expect him/her to understand the concept of potty training because the consistency is not there! Like I said, once you go to underwear, stay there. Don't go back and forth! It's confusing for your kid!
This also applies to rewards and praise. Consistently reward and consistently praise!
11. Use Underwear during Naptime
I recommend keeping your child in underwear during naptime. Put a doubler in and put a waterproof mattress pad on the bed and lay them down. Make sure they have used the potty right before they go down for a nap. There are still days when August wakes up from a nap soaked (usually after a very long nap), but most days he is perfectly dry when he wakes up because he has learned to hold his pee for a longer period of time. (this may take awhile).
12. Make sure there is a lot of water/milk/juice available to drink at all times
It may seem counter-intuitive to give your child so much to drink when you are trying to potty train and prevent accidents, but it's an excellent way to teach your toddler when his bladder feels full. He/she will eventually get the hang of controlling his bladder if it is always full. Plus it gives ample opportunity to go pee on the potty when you sit him/her on it.
13. Take a short trip out in public on day 5
For some reason, potty training really started to "click" in our son's head when we took him out in public for the first time. To this day he has only had 2 accidents when we've been out and they have both been in the car seat after an hour drive somewhere!
Make sure your first trip is short- a trip to the grocery store to pick up one thing (great opportunity to get a special item for your toddler if they are dry the whole time) is a great start. Make sure they go RIGHT before you leave and then head out the door with underwear on and a doubler if you wish. Praise Praise Praise if they stay dry and talk the entire car-ride about being a big boy/big girl and where to go potty at.
Eventually you will go out for longer and longer periods of time in public and this is where the potty ring comes in handy. We take ours in a plastic bag (it fits easily into a backpack/undercarriage of a stroller) and use it at all public restrooms-just remember to sanitize it when you get home..icky! This allows a little bit of home to be with your toddler while they are out. They recognize the potty ring from home and it makes it a much less foreign concept to go potty. Plus, if you ever tried to sit a toddler on a public restroom seat without a potty ring, it is disastrous, TRUST ME..I unfortunately know from experience!
When you are out, make sure you take them potty every half an hour or so..or at the very least ask if they have to go. It might be helpful to bring a small waterproof mattress pad just in case they have an accident in the car seat/stroller/highchair. Also it should go without saying that you should always have extra pants, extra underwear and an extra shirt- just in case! The one time you don't bring extras with you is the one time your toddler will have an accident!
14. Hang in There!
Potty training takes a lot of time, a lot of effort (on both the parent's and the toddler's part) and is full of frustration. IT DOES GET BETTER. When you are cleaning up the 8th accident of the day, you may get so discouraged that you want to throw in the towel on the whole potty training thing, but don't. Stick with it.
I hope these tips help those who feel like potty training is overwhelming or unattainable before 2 years old. My son was completely trained by 22 months. We still have inconsistency problems with pooping on the potty but other than that he is accident free 90% of the time. It IS possible and very do-able with the right tools! Good Luck!!!
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