Mother's Day Suprise.

Hello, may name is Joel, and this post is a very special Mother's Day post for the author of this blog. It is an interview I conducted with our 4 month old son. And will be read by her for the first time on mothers day morning. 

It was the dawn of a new day. The sun was up, but just barely. Bird songs called in from the outside and a distinguished gentleman was sitting down to enlighten me about the finer things in life. About his experience, dreams, opinions. About his elephant leggings and ducky bathrobes. With a newly washed pacifier in his fingers, we took some time while mommy was on a run to interview and find out who IS Phoenix Noble:

So how are you today, are you having a "good day"?

(Laughs) Please, everyday is a "good day". Just try missing one.

The life of a baby is always changing. What's been new for you lately?

Weirdest thing happened the other day, I found my toes. Turns out they were on my feet the whole time AND they fit in my mouth pretty well. 

So far as I can tell you seem like a pretty social guy. Do you entertain much?

I love to party. You can usually find me at my local hideout the KING bed around 2 and 5 AM on a nightly basis with DJ Ma and sleepy dad. But if you come it's a strict rule, BYOB (bring your own boob.) ha ha.

Speaking of, some say you've been hitting the teet a little to often. What is your response to accusations that you have a drinking problem?

You'd have a drinking problem too if you had and incisor cutting through your gums that and throbbing with pain. The sauce is the only thing that keeps me level these days. Truth be told, I've also been known to dabble with the teething gel and gripe water, or as we call it on the streets, "the gripe", pretty hard too. But hey it gets the job done.

Are there any naturalistic avenues you've considered to dealing with these demons you struggle with?

I've really been into squishy toys lately and I don't care how small the toy is, I open my mouth like a piranha every time. I got to let it know I mean business.

Ok, time for some quickfire questions. Disposable or cloth diapers?

Let's just say the grass is "greener" on my backside.

Where are you going to walk to when you can?

Down to the corner, out in the street. I heard the bull frogs play and the music can't be beat. 

Where do you see yourself in five years?

School.... or Broadway.

Could you hear people talking when you were in the womb?

No talking, just a lot of funk music.

On a scale of 1-10, how awesome is it to poop whenever you feel like?

I'll tell you in 20 seconds.

As a baby do you get the respect you deserve?

Every time I get a diaper change.

What do you know now that you wish you’d known when you were younger?

That there's a world beyond my 5 foot field of vision.

With all the attention you've been getting, how do you stay grounded?
When things are getting out of hand, I like to ask myself 'what would Yoda do?'

How was your birthing experience?

Have you ever been on a water slide? Exactly like that, only different.

Who has been your greatest inspiration so far in life?

You know I'm glad you ask that, because there is a very special lady in my life. She not only takes care of brother Gustav and I, but the whole house as well. She's there when you need her and close by when you don't. She feeds and nurtures, encourages and engages. She has the kind of love that you could feel, like it's part of the atmosphere. You know my good friend Abe Lincoln once said "All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother," and I'd have to agree. My mother is more than I could ever ask for and my heart sores when she enters the room. Those who know her well know what I'm talking about. Happy Mother's Day mommy!