We live in a culture in America in which independence is admired above all else- especially in kids. This, in my opinion, leads to various problems. Don't get me wrong- independence has it's place, and I do value it to a certain degree but I don't think a BABY needs to be taught independence. Babies are, afterall, very DEPENDENT for a reason. It's called survival. There is a reason the entire rest of the world co-sleeps! We are one of the only countries that does not actively support it. What's worse is there is a campaign in the Midwest right now trying to convince parents that not only is co-sleeping dangerous..it is deadly. Anytime I read about co-sleeping on the internet or in the mainstream Parenting websites they all say not to co-sleep. RIDICULOUS!! It makes me so angry that people are being exposed to that propaganda! As long as you have common sense, co-sleeping is extremely safe. There are also lots of products out there that allow you to put the baby in between you in a "nest" if you are worried about safety. I personally was much more stressed out with him sleeping AWAY from us than with us. When he is right next to us I can feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest and know that he is breathing.
Joel and I currently do a part time bed sharing situation. We put August down in his crib around 7:30 or 8. Then if he wakes in the middle of the night hungry/teething or needs comfort, one of us gets him, brings him to bed with us and I nurse and fall back asleep. Baby sleeps in between us and we all get a comfortable nights sleep. For the first 5 months, we bed shared with him exclusively and it was one of the best decisions we have made as parents. I feel like the bonding we got during that precious time is something I will remember forever.
Babies and mamas are MADE to sleep next to each other. A baby will instinctively turn their head toward mama while sleeping and match her breathing rhythms. A mother's body is also made to regulate her temperature based on her baby's needs. I can't think of another mammal that puts their baby far away from them to sleep. I think co-sleeping is natural, healthy and necessary. I think our society put way too much focus on this idea that babies will somehow be spoiled or coddled if they sleep in the same bed as their parents. That is ridiculous and studies do not back that up at all. In fact studies have found that babies who co-sleep tend to be very well adjusted children because they have that feeling of security!
The one and only problem I have with co-sleeping is having time to be alone with my husband- which I think is extremely important. So some nights we will put the baby back in his crib as soon as he nurses and let him sleep by himself. Our modified version of co-sleeping works for us and we will continue to practice it with our other babies as well.
I think ALL children need to be cuddled, snuggled, hugged and not left to scream their lungs out for 45 minutes while trying to go to sleep. Babies cry for a reason and those reasons are NOT manipulative- they are trying to communicate the best way they know how. By co-sleeping/bed sharing, you can respond quickly and efficiently to your baby's needs without having to get up and wander to the nursery while half asleep. If you breastfeed, it is the absolute BEST way to be able to feed your baby AND get some sleep. You just let the baby suck and fall back asleep...the baby will come off when they are satisfied and you can get some rest. I really would not have survived the first 3 months if we didn't co-sleep.
If you are pregnant now or are a new parent PLEASE do yourself a favor and look into co-sleeping, at least sometimes. It is beneficial for both you and baby. One of the leading advocates of co-sleeping is Dr. William Sears and his wife. They have lots of information online so google their names and research. In the end, only you know what is right for your family. I can confidently say though that co-sleeping was one of the best decisions Joel and I have made as parents so far!
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| Co-sleeping from birth! THIS IS WHAT CO-SLEEPING LOOKS LIKE, HOW ON EARTH CAN THAT BE BAD?? |
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